I am not who I was Six years ago

"The person that I am now is not the person I was 6 years ago"

This is the truest statement I think I have ever made. Six years ago I had just graduated from high school, dating who I thought was the person I was going to be with for the rest of my life, going to school full time and working full time. I was busy, I was happy, I was healthy.... or so I thought..... in May of 2005 it felt as if my whole world had fallen apart.... Clayton and I broke up, none of my "friends" wanted to hang out, and I was FAT.... it seemed as nothing more could go wrong....

My life has become one that consists of everyday struggles and challenges, the struggle to find answers for the illness that has taken its toll on my body. I have to struggle through endless doctor’s appointments where I am met with cynicism and arrogance, and have been told several times that the treatments they have said would work to cure me have failed miserably. I struggle daily to put on a “happy face” so that my family will not see my pain. I have come to realize that the biggest struggle is within me. How do you keep a positive outlook when you are so angry because your body and mind are letting you down? My story is one I hope that others don’t find themselves living one day but if they do maybe by sharing my struggles it will help them realize that they are not alone. This disease is not a fairytale so there will not be any “happily ever after” but with knowledge and determination there will be a “getting better everyday!” Remember that you may stumble along the way and there will times you want to give-up, it has happened lots to me..... but when that happens take some time for yourself.... talk to those who listen without judgement and don't give up, because if you give up then the disease wins.... if you fight hard and do research and find something that works for you, you can win the battle.....