To My Mom

Mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. ~Marion C. Garretty, quoted in A Little Spoonful of Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul



Over the course of the last four years I have been able to develop a close relationship with my mom. My mom and I weren't the closest when I was growing up (something about me being stubborn... I dunno :) )but I honestly am THANKFUL (yes I said it) that I got this disease. It has brought us together, closer than I ever could have imagined. She has been there for me from the start... no wait... even before I was diagnosed... I probably wouldn't have ever got diagnosed if it wasn't for her pushing the doctors to do more tests. She even went to my doctor while I was at work with my grad photo to prove to him that I wasn't "just getting fat!" She has sat through more doctors appointments... surgeries... radiation treatments etc etc etc... than anyone should EVER have to, and she did it without me even having to ask her to (She even did it when I told her not too!). She has been there for me through all the emotional break downs, not to sit there and say that she knows what I was going through, but to sit and listen to what I had to say... and love me unconditionally. Everytime I hear this song I think of my mom:

I'll Stand by You:

Oh, why you look so sad?

Tears are in your eyes

Come on and come to me now

Dont be ashamed to cry

Let me see you through

Cause Ive seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you

You dont know what to do

Nothing you confess

Could make me love you less

Ill stand by you Ill stand by you

Wont let nobody hurt you

Ill stand by you

So if youre mad, get mad

Dont hold it all inside

Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?

I get angry too

Well Im a lot like you

When youre standing at the crossroads

And dont know which path to choose

Let me come along

cause even if youre wrong

Ill stand by you Ill stand by you

Wont let nobody hurt you

Ill stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour

And Ill never desert you
Ill stand by you

And when...When the night falls on you, baby

Youre feeling all alone

You wont be on your own

Ill stand by you Ill stand by you

Wont let nobody hurt you

Ill stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour

And Ill never desert you

Ill stand by you Ill stand by you

Wont let nobody hurt you Ill stand by you

I can't even describe to everyone how much of a strength she has been for me, so that being said:

Mom: I want you to know that you mean more to me than you will EVER know. From the beginning you have been there for me. You made me realize that even though I had gained alot of weight and I didn't look the same as I did before I was still me. When I thought I was losing "friends" because of the changes in my physical appearance you made me realize that the people who were really my true friends would love me no matter what I looked like. You understood that the hardest part of me being sick was the weight gain, you encouraged me to be healthy, and reminded me every single day that I was beautiful, both inside and out. I want you to know mom that I am truly thankful that you pushed me to go to the doctors, and then pushed the doctors to find out what was wrong. Without you I probably would not be here today. I have never doubted that you would be there for me, even when I thought I was all alone. I know I can count on you for anything. I can't even imagine how how this whole journey has been for you, seeing me at my worst (like right after my operations). I know how caring you are, and for you to watch someone you love go through what I have drug you through must have been extremely hard. I want you to know that if it hadn't been for you and your strength I would not have been able to have gone through all 3 surgeries and the radiation. I would have given up a long time ago. I have fed off your strength and your belief that I was going to get better. Having you there when I would break down and just cry made me feel comfort; more than I could ever explain. I can only hope that one day I can be like you; strong, caring, loving, giving, and someone to look up to. Mom you will never know exactly how much you have helped me. You have put four years of your life on hold for me, I want you to know that I believe you when you say "It's done." You have made me feel like a "normal" human being, and you have constantly reminded me that it doesn't matter what I look like on the outside, I am still Stacy, and always will be. If you are proud of me mom, you should be proud of yourself. You are the reason I am who I am. I LOVE YOU!!!! Thank you for being there me always....

Love Stacy