May 6th 2009- Day before surgery

I woke up and walked out to the kitchen where my mom and Sherry were. Sherry was busy scurrying around to make us breakfast (nothing like bacon, eggs and homemade hash browns... mmm!!) and my mom was sitting at the table drinking coffee. They had already gone out to do chores (they let me sleep in :) ). I had to phone the hospital at 11:00am to find out what time I had to be at the hospital to check in. So Sherry, Mom and I ate breakfast and sat at the table chatting for a bit.... listening to Maggie and Ike snoring under the table (they are Sherry's dog..... coolest dogs ever.... they are boxers who seriously are like kids!). After we cleaned up the dishes from breakfast we sat down and were visiting again, I decided to use Sherry's computer to go on Facebook and get my last fix of it for a little while. It was kind of overwhelming how many people had wished me good thoughts... comforting to know I have so many good people in my life. I realized that it was almost 11am and that I should phone the hospital.

When I phoned the hospital they still did not have a time for me to be at the hospital (they were waiting for a bed to open) so they asked if I could phone back at 12pm. I was relieved and at the same time annoyed, I just wanted to know when I had to be there and I just wanted to get this stupid thing OVER with! But I knew that sometimes it is hard to get a bed the hospital is always so busy....

So I called the hospital back at 12 and they told me that I was to check in at admissions at 4 pm. My stomach started to tighten.... I am not really sure why. I think it was because I was hoping that they would still be like "Oh you are fine now, we don't actually have to do this surgery". I knew that that wouldn't happen but I was hoping!

I told my mom what time I had to be at the hospital so she knew when she had to drive me in. We decided that we would leave right away because Sherry lives 20 minutes outside of Edmonton and we wanted to do a bit of shopping before I had to be admitted, plus we also had to pick up my Aunt from the airport who flew in from Kelowna to be with us. It was sad to say goodbye to Sherry and Ike and Maggie, but we gave them all a round of hugs and I told them I would see them soon!

Mom and I drove into the city and did a bit of shopping.... she is the greatest! She bought me a fuzzy super soft bath robe that I could wear in the hospital, a pair of comfy sweats (for after the surgery) and just little things that I had forgotten I would or want!

We were taking our time in the store and realized that it was almost time to pick up my Auntie Randa from the airport. We hurried and paid for our stuff and then headed to the airport... we were a little late... haha poor Auntie was waiting on the sidewalk for us! By this time it was almost 4 pm and I had to head to the hospital.

North side of the hospitalWhen we got to the hospital Mom dropped me off at the front doors with my suitcase and went to park the truck. She told me her and Auntie would meet me in the admitting area.

The ladies in admitting got me to fill out all the paperwork and put on my wrist bands (for identification) then we went upstairs to my room.... nope nothing had changed from the last time I was in there. I get a horrible feeling in my stomach when I think about staying in hospitals..... I mean its not bad as far as hospitals go but its still a hospital. I set my bags down and sat down on my bed. The lights were not on, but I didn't want them on.... I sat there for a moment trying to relax then the nurses came in to take my vitals (blood pressure, pulse and temperature). Then because I wasn't having anything else done that evening the nurses said that I was allowed to go out for supper. I was excited.... One more meal of NON HOSPITAL food! Oh and of course I chose the Olive Garden... I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!.....

So we went to the Olive Garden... my mom's friend Tracey met us there. She had drove down so that my mom wouldn't have to be by herself while I was in the hospital. We had a great meal (and a good looking server :)...) then it was time to head back to the hospital so I could get to sleep. Mom dropped me off and they headed to their hotel. When I was walking back into the hospital it was so quiet... usually during the day it is so busy and there are so many people bustling about but at night it is so quiet... it is eerie........

I rode the glass elevator upstairs to my room, changed into my jammies and turned on my iPod. I fell asleep listening to my music....

Preparing

So for the next couple weeks I was just trying to prepare for when I would be gone.... I had to make sure someone would take care of my dogs, Harley gets so sad when I leave him I don't think Spice really cares but... I still wanted to make sure that someone would be able to give them lots of attention while I was away so they wouldn't be sad. I also had to make sure that someone was watching my horses and making sure that they were getting all their feed, cleaning stalls, cleaning pens etc. As if it isn't hard enough to find someone to watch just my animals but because my mom was coming with me we had to find someone to watch all her animals too.... so that's a total of 5 dogs, and 5 horses...... luckily for us my mom has some great friends that agreed to care for the horses and my sisters were going to take turns with the dogs.
The next thing that I had to do was make sure that someone could cover me at work. We have a part time lady that we asked to cover my position while I was gone. So I had to go through everything that I do on a daily basis and write it out for her. This actually took a while because I had to write EVERYTHING out.... even things that I thought were easy. I had to remember that poor Wilema had never done my job and she wouldn't have a clue of what to do. It took me about a week to go through everything, even when I thought I had everything wrote out something would come up that I forgot. I finally thought I had what I like to call "Stacy's Bible" completed. Wilema came in and I showed her the "Bible". I had forgot what it was like for me when I first started (I had been doing this for 2 years and it came really easy for me now). So for the next couple weeks she came in a couple times a week to learn my job. She did really well but I was wishing that I had more time to train her. Plus about 4 days before I left for my surgery one of the programs that I use was updated and totally different than what I had been teaching her.... so now I had to learn it and teach Wilema how to do it..... I was a little stressed out! Scott (one of the guys that I work for) said for me not to worry about it, they will figure it out, and if not then it would be there for me when I returned!
I found out that my surgery was going to be on May 7th (which happens to be my Dad Jack's birthday). I was going to have to be admitted to the hospital on May 6th for pre-surgery admission. This meant that my mom and I would have to leave on the 5th. Time flew by because I was busy trying to get everything ready for when I was gone. I didn't know EXACTLY how long I was going to be off work (Dr McMullen said about a month but Doctor Chik said at least 2 months) so I wanted to make sure that Wilema could do my month end stuff and everything that needed to get done for at least a month. Mom and I hauled hay for the horses, I made sure that my dogs had their little treats, and I spent as much time as I could doing the things that I like doing.... riding my horse, playing with my dogs and spending as much time as I could with my family (especially Logan).
The weekend before my surgery my sister Jaimie organized a "Pre-surgery Party" for me and invited all my closest friends and family. She had it at a local pub and had it decorated and bought a teddy bear that I could take with me to my surgery. She bought him a little t-shirt and got everyone to sign it for me. Jasta (a close friend) got everyone to stand up and introduce themselves and say how they knew me or something nice about me.... I was doing okay until Kaelyn stood up to talk. Kaelyn and I have known each other since grade 11 and I absolutely love her.... she is one of my closest friends. Her and I have been through a lot together and she came and seen me in the hospital when I had my first surgery.... she has seen me at my absolute worst and she still loves me! Anyways I was bawling and it just got worse as more people stood up to talk.... it really made me realize that I have the most WONDERFUL friends and family... and I know that they all really care about me (I am not going to name everyone but you know who you are... and I just want to say that I love everyone of you and I have so much fun when I am with you guys!). We stayed at the pub for a while and played some fun drinking games (which even my mom and Dad participated in... although I think they were both drinking Coke not booze!) and we all had a blast! After that we went to the bar and I must say that the rest of the night is kind of a blur..... but I am sure it was a good time! :)
So I worked that Monday and half of Tuesday and then my mom and I headed for Sherry's house. Sherry is a family friend and she lives near Edmonton. She has always offered for me to stay with her and I have a couple times when I go to Edmonton. Great lady. Anyways mom and I arrived at Sherry's around 9 pm and we had supper and just sort of relaxed. I had to call the hospital the next morning to find out what time I was supposed to be at the hospital. I didn't get a lot of sleep that night.... my head was spinning.... I almost couldn't believe that I was going to have ANOTHER surgery. I had it in my head that my body would have straightened out before we got to this point and I wouldn't have to do this again... I wouldn't have to stay in the hospital, I wouldn't have to have IV's all over and I wouldn't have to go through all the pain that goes with having surgery. I ended up crying myself to sleep.... I was scared.

The Call

I was anxiously awaiting the phone call from Dr McMullen's office to tell me when my surgery was going to be (I tend to get a little impatient when I am waiting). It was about the middle of April by this time. Finally Dr McMullens office called one day while I was on my lunch break, and I took a deep breath because as much as I was anticipating this phone call I suddenly got nervous. I answered the phone and the lady said that she was calling because they were having trouble billing my appointments or something and needed to make sure they had the correct information.... SERIOUSLY?! I was expecting to be told my surgery date.... not to give them the correct spelling of my name!

Once I gave the receptionist all my correct info she was about to hang up and I was like "Oh wait.... I was just wondering if you were able to book a surgery date for me yet?" She was like "Oh ya... it will be on May 7th. Dr McMullen would like you to be admitted the day before so you will have to call the adult surgery department the day before at 10:30 am to find out what time you will be able to check in." She gave me the number and I was trying to write everything that she had said down like the phone number for the surgery department, dates, times etc.

When I got off the phone it really hit me that this was real.... that I was really going to be having ANOTHER surgery.... I honestly was not sure I could handle another one. It made me start thinking of what I went through with my previous 2 surgeries..... all the aches and pains that go along with having surgeries and incisions, having to stay in the hospital again, being hooked up to IV poles, seriously.... I didn't think I could do it again. I just wanted it to be over, I wanted to be healthy, and happy. I started to wonder (like I had MANY MANY times before) what I had done to deserve having this disease, and why I was chosen to go through it all. I look at my sisters and my friends and they have never had to have a major surgery, they don't have to schedule their lives around surgeries and doctors appointments. They actually get to use their holidays for fun stuff.... not to go to Edmonton for doctors appointments. I am not going to lie, I am jealous. I know it sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself... and I guess in a way I am, its not fair. But I have to keep reminding myself that life isn't fair, and it could always be worse. I still wanted to cry, just have a meltdown. But what would that help?... it wouldn't change the fact that I still needed to have another surgery, it wouldn't change the fact that I have Cushing's Disease. I got dealt this hand in the game of life, and I guess I better learn how to play it to make the most of it!

So now I get to wait for 3 more weeks.... great more time to think about it! Luckily I am a fairly busy person.... it helps me to stay busy because then I don't sit and dwell on it for long. I don't have alot of time to sit and feel sorry for myself....